I have wanted to write earlier, but had no words to explain my first 20 days in Göttingen until I talked to my Uncle, Thaya Ji, (meaning older brother of my father) on the phone.
What meant to be a Happy-Birthday-phone-call became an hour of refreshing conversation and dialogue. I shared with Thaya Ji what a challenge it has been to learn German in my new context and to engage with people who have grown up in a world so different from my own.
Conversations are particularly difficult. I notice I’m trying to express myself in what I know to be the simplest of sentences, stringed together with bad grammar, plenty of mistakes and a lot of hope. After a particularly “complex” thought I say, “verstehen sie?” or “Have you understood me?” A question that is then either met with a smile and nod of affirmation, or an equally quizzical look. And in this moment frustration breeds, in my insides I want to assert myself and ensure that my conversation partner knows I am a an incredibly intelligent, and interesting person– just not in German. But I can’t, unless of course I switch to English.
My Uncle smiled along with me and laughed, sharing his own stories of culture shock from when he first arrived in Canada and then United States. Afterwards, he gave me precious advice. “Jiwan,” he said, “you’re going through a trans-formative experience. Do not forget that. You will have many internal challenges through all of them do these three things:
1. Be Aware
Don’t try to silence or judge anything happening inside you too quickly. Listen to it. Be aware of it. Understand it, and when the energy is unhelpful… redirect it.
2. Check Your Blindspots
You will realize things about yourself that you were unaware of before. What are they? Are they helpful? If not, how can you work on them?
3. Notice the barriers your Ego creates
There is no doubt we all have an Ego, but when we let our ego rule it creates barriers to growth. When are you acting out of your ego? How can you redirect this energy?
This conversation was so enlightening to me. I never knew how much weight I put in my competence and ability until it was strained. I’m a wordy person, someone who takes pride in being articulate and this experience is already transforming me. It’s revealed invisible pockets of arrogance I hold, it’s revealed how much I crave a world that is familiar to me… simply to disengage from the unfamiliar and I am learning that growth is a daily discipline of getting up and trying again. Trying includes the bad German, the making the fool of yourself, the “humiliation” of being wrong… because that is what it takes to learn.
… so today I’m appreciative. Appreciative of an experience that is providing challenge for my growth, and people like my Thaya Ji, who strengthen me along the way.
❤️❤️❤️